"To err is human... i'm not comfortable around Gods"
After I had written this book I told several friends. Their response was polite and mild. Later I was able to tell them the book was going to be published. Almost to a man they used the words "I am proud of you." They were proud of the result but not of the action. Everyone but me looks back on my behavior in judgement. they can only see my acts coupled with their results. But I act now. And I cannot know the results. I give my actions their only possible meaning for me, and this meaning always issues from "I am responding to this part of me and not to that part." I don't live in a laboratory; I have no way of knowing what results my actions will have. To live my life for results would be to sentence myself to continuous frustration and to hang over my head the threat that death may at any moment make my having lived a waste. My only sure reward is in my actions and not from them. the quality of my reward is in the depth of my response, the centralness of the part of me I act from. And because the results are unpredictable, no effort of mine is doomed to failure. And even failure will not take the form I imagine. The most realistic attitude for me to have toward future consequences is "it will be interesting to see what happens." -Hugh Prather
Wow. So it's been four months since I moved to Atlanta. Happy with my decision to do so. I don't regret a thing. I don't regret my living situation falling apart 3 days before Christmas forcing me to live out of my car and on a friends couch, in numerous hotels, and sometimes not even knowing where I would be sleeping. I don't regret having the last of money taken from me forcing me to prioritize what was really important. Gas and food or nails and hair? Sometimes gas or food? Or phonebill or car insurance? I had to make those decisions. Still making those decision. I don't regret losing friends and family who believe I should be in Law school right and don't support any decisions I make. I now have the most amazing, talented, smart, incredible circle around me, who all believe in me and vice versa. And I most definitely don't regret leaving Virginia. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be signed to my talent agency and I wouldn't have my lead role in the new TV sitcom High Street Hills. It was all destined.
I have to say a huge THANK YOU to a few friends who held me DOWN during my transition. Payback is coming.
Also, to the most talented guy I know.... your amazing.... a true friend... you inspire me daily... I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you and your positivity. You know who you are. Success is ours.
Keep dreaming.....
M
Still Chasing Rainbows..... it never gets old!
