The Follow Up. Atlanta 4 months later.....

"To err is human... i'm not comfortable around Gods"

After I had written this book I told several friends. Their response was polite and mild. Later I was able to tell them the book was going to be published. Almost to a man they used the words "I am proud of you." They were proud of the result but not of the action. Everyone but me looks back on my behavior in judgement. they can only see my acts coupled with their results. But I act now. And I cannot know the results. I give my actions their only possible meaning for me, and this meaning always issues from "I am responding to this part of me and not to that part." I don't live in a laboratory; I have no way of knowing what results my actions will have. To live my life for results would be to sentence myself to continuous frustration and to hang over my head the threat that death may at any moment make my having lived a waste. My only sure reward is in my actions and not from them. the quality of my reward is in the depth of my response, the centralness of the part of me I act from. And because the results are unpredictable, no effort of mine is doomed to failure. And even failure will not take the form I imagine. The most realistic attitude for me to have toward future consequences is "it will be interesting to see what happens." -Hugh Prather

Wow. So it's been four months since I moved to Atlanta. Happy with my decision to do so. I don't regret a thing. I don't regret my living situation falling apart 3 days before Christmas forcing me to live out of my car and on a friends couch, in numerous hotels, and sometimes not even knowing where I would be sleeping. I don't regret having the last of money taken from me forcing me to prioritize what was really important. Gas and food or nails and hair? Sometimes gas or food? Or phonebill or car insurance? I had to make those decisions. Still making those decision. I don't regret losing friends and family who believe I should be in Law school right and don't support any decisions I make. I now have the most amazing, talented, smart, incredible circle around me, who all believe in me and vice versa. And I most definitely don't regret leaving Virginia. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be signed to my talent agency and I wouldn't have my lead role in the new TV sitcom High Street Hills. It was all destined.
I have to say a huge THANK YOU to a few friends who held me DOWN during my transition. Payback is coming.
Also, to the most talented guy I know.... your amazing.... a true friend... you inspire me daily... I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you and your positivity. You know who you are. Success is ours.

Keep dreaming.....
M

Still Chasing Rainbows..... it never gets old!

For the Love or Money ?

"I would never let something as petty as rent get in the way of our romance"

(Dedicated to my PB)

Laying in an old run down motel room. The lighting is horrible. The room itself smells of moth balls and cigarettes. The lamp to the right has been flickering all night, driving me insane. The bed is far from comfortable. The sheets I rather lay on top of them, then in them. Theres only 12 channels on tv and none of them come in clear. It's super quiet, yet sometimes you can hear the cries of a young baby in the room next door. I have $128 dollars to my name, and bills that calculate 10 times that. I have my car, I have my clothes, and then, I have him. He sits right next me. And at this moment I am convinced that there is nothing more important than that, than him, than love, than what we got. There is not a feeling that compares. There is not a materialistic thing that can suffice. He puts his arm around me and everything is okay. Because I have him. I could stay here forever. Our romance is not limited nor capped to 5 stars restuarants and hotels. Our romance takes us anywhere, and everywhere. He looks at me....... and this motel room feels like heaven and my 128 dollars feels like millions. These sheets feel like eygptian cotton. We don't need cable and we sure don't need these lights. I could live off our romance forever. I don't need a thing but that. Money is not real, love is. Money is a convenience, something love isn't. I would never let something as petty as rent get in the way of our romance. I hope you know that.

Keep Dreaming,

M.Dot

"A Silly White Chistmas" Written on 12-25-10 (The Archives never published)

She hops up frantically out of her sleep. The clock reads 7:37 a.m. "I didn't just hear the doorbell ring, did I?" she thought. As she quickly runs down the flight of stairs the only thing that crosses her mind is that its him on the other side of that door and she was happy. There is no peephole so she takes a quick peep out the window. "Don't see his car." Wishfully, she opens the door anyway. A cold bitter breeze greets her warm smile as it blows through the door... only to tease the cold bitter feeling in her heart as no one stands there "I'm so silly" she thought. She takes another 10 seconds and stares at the picture perfect scenery that stares back at her. "We had a white Christmas" She closes the door. She makes her way back up the stairs not as quickly as she made it down them. She sits back down on the bed. A bit sad, a bit embarrassed. Hollow, like October.... cont-

The Mday DVD !!! (My Directorial Debut)

"A few months ago a candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around it and sang Happy Birthday."

The 25th birthday was amazing. From Thursday to Monday. Thanks for everyone who showed love that weekend. From Entourage on Thursday through the All Pink on the private charter Sunday. We painted the city Pink. See You Next Year.

Check out my special Birthday present from Issa Bolden... tell me if you see yourself ---> www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqs17DGwUj8

Now.... to the feature presentation ..

Endless nights, endless weeks of editing, hours and hours and days and days of footage. All minajed into 45 minutes. Tedius work, yes. Time consuming, yes. I underestimated, yes. But she is done and well worth every second I spent on her. My directorial debut.... The Mday Weekend DVD. Produced and Directed from the heart. Take it light...its like watching a really dope home video... just for fun. Enjoy :) www.vimeo.com/16064330

Keep Dreaming, M

Behind the Scenes: Love Faces Photo Shoot.

"Literally, A Dollar & a Dream"

I handed my best friend my BlackBerry and said "Record this" She did. Upload, edit, quick post on my end. The end result ----------------> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLriLFTzrN0

Keep Dreaming Dolls,

Miss Zee

Behind the Lens: Dexter Cohen IEI Shoot

"Photography is an art of observation. It has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them."

Recently awarded "2010's Best Fashion Photographer" at the VA Fashion Awards. What can I say about Dexter D. Cohen the photographer ?? I mean his work pretty much speaks for itself.... maybe in a foreign language, but it speaks...LOUDLY. His competition in VA is obsolete. It was a honor and truly inspiring to work with Dexter on a recent shoot. Again, his craft speaks for itself. Next to Dex I played merely a breakthrough supporting role. :) For the entire spread visit my page at www.modelmayhem/stilldiaries or on the handy FB page. Visit Dexter on model mayhem, facebook, or twitter.

Keep Dreaming,
Maryam Zee

I've been weerkinn people!!!

"There are two types of people in this world.
Those who come in a room and say "WELL, HERE I AM!!" and those who come in and say "Ah, there you are"
Which are you?"


Day 29. Currently focusing on making a life, not just a living. Months have passed since the last time we met. I've missed you.... the love is still the same though. Career is taking precedent over all else. Personal life is taking a toll. But those who know....understand. I've been weerkkin people. Anticipation, anxiousness, excitement....even fear has come to visit. Atlanta on a milli in 11 days. Some support....some not so much... good thing we don't care right? Consider this a warning to ALL dreambashers and naysayers .... "PERSON WHO SAYS IT CANNOT BE DONE MUST NOT INTERRUPT PERSON ALREADY DOING IT" Continue following the journey....

Keep Dreaming,
Maryam Zee